News emerged last week that Oxford and Cambridge are introducing sexual assault workshops to their curricula, and I couldn’t be more proud.
Maria Marcello writes about this in The Independent article “Men Are Finally Being Forced to Learn About Sexual Consent at University- It’s About Time.” Now, I’m a little bit nick-picky about this title, and I’m sure tons of others are as well, but we’ll get into that later.
Maria Marcello was attending Oxford University when she was raped by a guy in her sleep at a poker night her friends were having. You may have read her compelling article when it came out in September about how her rape was not taken seriously and how the cops encouraged her to drop chargers. She believes this story has facilitated the production of these workshops.
Media have been having a field day over sexual assault and consent over the past few months. By latching on to the tagline “Let’s teach men to not rape,” media focus only on idea that men need to be taught not to rape and that’s how rape will end. Of course, men find this extremely patronizing. Part of this is because of male privilege, but another part of it is justifiable. I don’t think that consent workshops and legislature should be labelled this way because it discourages men from joining the cause. Many men get very defensive (*cough cough* #notallmen *cough cough*) and argue that they aren’t rapists and they don’t need to learn to “not rape.” There is so much more to these workshops, so many vital things that need to surface in education and conversation about sexual assault and consent. Instead of trademarking it as, “Classes On How Not to Rape,” let’s highlight the enlightening issues of discussion that these courses and legislature do promote.
Let’s discuss the specific topics that Oxford and Cambridge will use in those workshops, but also expand them to the whole reform in general.
First of all, these courses are to generate conversation in the university community. So many sexual assault victims’ voices are lost because they don’t have a safe place to discuss their stories, or because their stories aren’t taken seriously. Having this new-found community will help support victims and validate their claims.
Secondly, these courses are important because they help dispel myths surrounding rape and sexual assault. A lot of men are offended by the notion of compulsory rape-prevention courses because they don’t identify with the stereotypical assaulter- a stranger who targets vulnerable women, usually in a sketchy place. By discussing issues like coercion, date rape, and assault within relationships, these myths can be debunked and men can fully understand what it means to be in a consensual sexual relationship. Because of the nature of the word “rape,” most men are afraid to use that word, but will admit to being in situations that could describe rape. So, men, regardless if you know that a girl saying “no” means non-consent, you need to know that if she’s too drunk she can’t consent or that if she changes her mind it’s not consent. Or if you are in a relationship it does not mean you have permanent consent to do whatever you want. I think these lessons are especially important in the bigger social scheme, and I think when marketing or reporting on these reforms, these are the things that people should be focusing on.
She notes that some men feel like they don’t have to go to the workshop because they aren’t sexual active. I think it’s just as important to go to these workshops if you are celibate or have never had sex. Sex education is not just limited to that one shitty health class you took in high school. It is so cultural, and if you are listening to the messages and watching the examples that are around you, you are still going to absorb these myths and ideologies. A particular issue is frat culture, which often targets women in awful ways. If you are a freshman guy who hasn’t had sex coming to school and get involved in Greek culture, you may have a different outlook on sex. Especially for when you do start to have sexual relationships, these are going to be good things to know.
The media tend to focus all on the men, and with some rational reasoning. An important aspect of these workshops is that it focuses the responsibility on the perpetrator, and not the victim. No more telling women that they were asking for it, or to stop wearing short skirts. I would even argue this is important for the LGBTQ community, where you might have “deserved it” for being “weaker” or “feminine.” It is the rapers decision to rape or not, and no characteristic of the victim or their behavior should ever be blamed.
But because of all this focus, we tend to forget how these workshops will be beneficial to women too. Because the word “rape” is such a taboo, women might not want to use it even in situations that constitute as rape. Women who have felt uncomfortable, taken advantage of, or coerced will be able to stand up for their violated rights once they’ve learned that’s what they’ve been going through.
While I am extremely happy with these programs, I think that they are a little late in life. Maybe that’s why men feel so patronized. I believe that programs like these will be even more effective in middle school and high school settings, when adolescents are going through sexual development. By targeting these issues early, these students can develop naturally through their teenage years while having an understanding about sexual assault and consent. I still think that there is more need for reform in the legislatures about sexual assault, especially on campuses. I just hope that all this talk will finally get through to people who don’t believe that there is an issue with sexual assault in our culture. If you really believe that, you need to open your eyes real wide, because it’s all around, happens to all sorts of people, and it’s incredibly traumatic. Especially when you live in a culture that tends to sweep it under the rug and pretends that it didn’t happen at all.
The Equalitwenties 